Dogs = Toddlers in fur coats

I read an online article the other day about dog intelligence. It compared the "smarts" of a canine to that of a two-year-old human. Apparently dogs can experience: joy, frustration, sadness, anger, and jealousy. All of these emotions are also felt by toddlers. But the one they CANNOT experience is guilt. The sense of guilt typically does not develop until a child is around the age of four. This makes a lot of sense.

Joy - the nubby-tail-wagging, side-to-side wriggling that Tyson experiences each time one of his favorite people comes home. This same emotion is observed at the mention of Milk Bones, Ride, or Walk.

Frustration - the expression on Tyson's face when a favorite toy becomes stuck under the entertainment center. He will try to scoop it out with his paw but sometimes he just can't reach it.

Sadness - this is demonstrated when we tell him, "Get in your house, buddy." He then walks up the stairs very slowly with his head held down as though he is walking to an electric chair.

Anger - This one doesn't happen too often but anger does appear when we accidentally mention one of his favorite words or a word that rhymes with one he knows. He experiences moments of glee followed by a major let down when he realizes we are not going for a ride. Daddy just said, "Nice Ride." Or, Mommy said she wanted something from "Tasty Treat." Very upsetting, I'm sure.

Jealousy - This occurs each time I pet another creature and then have the audacity to return home to my own dog. Tyson sniffs my legs and hands and circles around me numerous times. Then, he stops and looks at me like, "Cheater. You cheated on me. You took a vow that I would be your only dog..."

And Finally...

GUILT - What is guilt? I have not seen signs of guilty feelings in my six years as a dog owner. There was no remorse for the hundreds of dollars Tyson cost us when he pulled down and chewed up every vertical blind in our home.

And on a more frequent basis, there is no guilt associated with going through the trash and pulling out tissues and other items whenever I am on the phone too long for his liking. When I call him on that, he puts his nose in the air, walks out of the room, and hops onto the couch. Meanwhile, playing in his head are the lyrics to Shaggy's "It Wasn't Me." Zero guilt.

For the most part, the article I read was right on target. I like to think of Tyson as being a bit smarter but all signs point to Toddler.

Tyson is a toddler in a brown, fur coat.